So...

So for almost 2 months I've been weaning off taking Zoloft and for almost 2 weeks I've been completely off of it. This has been without a doubt in my mind one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in the past 5 years. I'm much more irritable and angry the majority of the time along with random dizzy spells, disorientation, and lack of concentration.

So far I've learned a couple things about myself. I've learned that I haven't really had much tact when dealing with much of anything the last couple of weeks, but sometimes you just have to speak your mind and that's what I've been doing. So far it's cost me a "friend" and I use that word extremely loosely. I've known her for a while but we only recently started talking. Apparently when I told her what I was going through it seemed to be a little too much for her to fully understand. So last night I get a random text saying how "I'm missing out on friendships" and all that jazz by being this way and I honestly don't want to be this way, but its what I have to deal with for a little bit. I'm not sure why its so difficult to understand that someone is going through a tough time and will only talk to people that they're closest to...not so much on here, but its a place to vent. Needless to say, I probably could have handled the situation slightly better, but after a couple weeks of the same shit over and over I had enough and so be it, what happens...well, happens. I'm pretty sure that this will put a strain on a relationship I have with a buddy of mine that I've had for 20+ years...I just hope he can remotely understand because he's like a brother to me and his family is like my family.

Another thing I've learned is that while I usually spoke what was on my mind most of the time, I'm not really holding back what I say to anyone. It may look like I'm lashing out or picking fights with people, but its been a long time coming for those people.

Right now it just seems I'm at wits end with almost everything and I'm extremely certain that this will pay off in the long road. No more feeling like a zombie and taking a fucking pill every night of the week and being dependent upon it to make me "happy".