Bittersweet

Valentines Day has always been a bittersweet day for me. Aside from usually being alone, I've lost a very good friend and gained someone very special on this day. And, every year, I still struggle to figure out how I feel.

The bitter part...

I don't really talk about this much, but maybe its time I said something. February 14th was a very dark day for me six years ago. I lost a friend, well a very good friend six years ago a day after her birthday. She wasn't in my life very long, but the time she was in my life was amazing. She was such an amazing and beautiful person I can't really describe. She had her flaws, like everyone else but she would turn a shitty time into a spectacular time. She ended up taking her life the day after her 20th birthday and I still wish I could have done something to change it. I know if she was set on that, anything I would have done would have only delayed the process and that is the what makes it so fucking hard to deal with. I still feel the pain I felt when I heard the news even six years later and still feel that same emptiness I felt when I heard the news. I don't know what else there is to say other than I miss you Kelly and wish I would have had more time with you.

The sweet part...


A year to the day after Kelly took her life, I was introduced to another person who was thrust into this life in very unusual circumstances. This is Eliza Michelle and she turned five today. She was born on February 14th 2005. Her "mom" had her on the toilet after months of denying she was pregnant. To cut a very long story short, little Eliza wasn't breathing when she came out and was revived on the way to St. Vincent's. She was not given much of a chance to survive and if she did, they said she was going to have some brain damage and severe setbacks in life. Everyday for the past five years, she has been proving everyone wrong. I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but she is just like every other five year old out there. We have our little thing that we do every time we see each other and she's remembered it for the last three years. If we don't do it she's very quick to call me out on it with an "Uncle Aaron!!! We didn't do the high five thing yet!!!" I love this kid and she's beyond special to me.

Now that I've teared up a bit, it feels nice to get this out and about even if only a few people will actually read this. Time for more beer? YES!!!